Beginning and Ending

Someone wrote of a substance that produces a calming of the mind to the point where remarkable inner visionary experiences can be had. He mentioned that it can take you back in memory to vivid experiences of childhood; modify the perception of the fabric of consciousness; and lead to an experience of the beginning and ending of the entire universe.

This is not about the substance. It is about the experience. Particularly the experience of the beginning and end of the universe, the alpha and omega.

The experience he writes about is not one that is related to time and space. Time and space are constructs of our earthly four-dimensional mind (3 spatial + 1 temporal). We experience time linearly, and space usually as two dimensions, occassionally three (i.e. those who are considered "gifted"). These are the limitations of an undeveloped and undisciplined perception. What else do we have then to experience with?

What the writer was referring to is not a linear 'beginning', nor a linear 'ending'. Indeed, the 'universe' is neither linear, nor is it three dimensional. The experience cannot be described, but perhaps alluded to. It can be felt, not perceived. This leads to the description of an "altering of perception". Perception, our daily experience, must change, or bend, or be altered in order to feel or intuit the experience. What is translated into normal daily perception would be akin to drawing a single-frame stick diagram of the creation of a solar system. (Hmmm, is this what led to the creation of symbols, glyphs, mandalas by the ancients?)

The beginning and the end are not places, times or dates. They are not the Big Bang either. They are each the expression of the nature of Existence. And, as such are expressed immediately before us in everything, always. They are one and the same, and have always Existed. They each have no beginning or ending. The 'Beginning' never began, and the 'End' never ceases. The expression "beginning and ending" are linear constructs to portray to our limited perception something that is beyond its reach. This might be illustrated by considering how a two-dimensional world (i.e. drawing on a piece of paper) can express or experience not only a spatial third-dimension, but beyond that to a fourth (Time, if you will).

Where does a sphere begin, or end?

Normal human perception does not have the grammar to express the Alpha and Omega. But something about the experiences described consistently lead the partakers to express it as 'beginning' and 'end'. Perhaps this is due to the experience having a quality of all inclusiveness within it. Within the experience, all experiences can be had. Everything stems from this single experience, that of 'beginning' and 'end'. The beginning and the ending are the complete experience then, and nothing else needs to be experienced after that. It is complete fulfillment. It is the merging of oneself into All That Is. There is nothing to distinguish one from the All.

If that experience were to be sustained, one would surely no longer have any need for Earthly existance. This since there is nothing left to experience. I wonder if that is what the sages of ancient knowledge have been trying to express in all their practices, writings and teachings. That there is no basis for the sense that we are separate from Creation. We have only forgotten, the way one may forget that they once loved the person they live with. They way we may forget how much we enjoyed reading a particular book, or listening to a piece of music.

We forget.

That results in a perception of separation, a perception of "three + one" dimensions. Remembering is the experience of the beginning and the end, when we may say "it really isn't so important now", or "I regret that I did this to that person".

We are the beginning, and the end, creation and existence. That is the experience. We've simply been hypnotized into forgetting, and distracted with other activities.

Why not leave a little space for remembering? Go back and read my first line, the trick was in the calming of the mind. How do we do that, so we may Remember?

- m

When We Meet Again

Hello my Love,

My sweetest love, you are so wonderful to see. The way you smile at me, with the tender excitement in your eyes - you cannot help bouncing up on your toes, like a young girl who learns she has won the prize.

You are like a precious spring flower blossom, so beautiful, delicate and full of life and fragrance. I should be very careful when I touch you, and not let out all the raging passion inside me, I must keep this inside for now, it is too powerful and you are so delicate.

I want to tell you that I am also so excited to see you. My heart pounds so hard, I can feel the blood everywhere in my body. When I know I will see you, it is hard to think, your beauty consumes me so. But I should not react outside. Your excitement is making it difficult for me to stay calm. You show your joy openly, you cannot help touching my hand, then letting go when you realize what you have just done. Every part of you expresses that you want to pour yourself all over me, but you behave so nice and innocent.

It is joyful to see you so full of energy, and I see also that you want to be closer, but know that it is not right. You have a war inside you, a beautiful war between your natural passion and your knowledge of self control. Me too. We want to find a way to let it out, with respect, with dignity. Our eyes keep looking into each other. We both know. But we are hiding it. If your hand touches mine again, in that soft caressing "accident", as before, I may not be able to stop.

You are such a good person.

And I must be like the rock under the garden, steady and solid. The foundation. My hope is that your beautiful, soft, natural fresh garden will spread all over me and grow. I will be the ground and the rock you can grow from.

We have waited so long to have this time together. We planned this time, we both wanted this time. Now we talk about nothing, but enjoy being close. Controlling our inner inclinations. The Energy surges and our faces betray a heart aching giddiness that is both wrenching laughter and blessed tears. Yes. It is almost to the point where we are no longer voluntarily in control. Our bodies and hearts will take over at some point, and no resistance will be possible. We will fall completely into a wonderful blissful dream, like a cool silk blanket gently covering our aching exhausted bodies after a hard day of work.

But it is now time to leave. It has been too short, like last time. Always, it is never enough time, and we try to hold the last minutes. We wish it could last forever. I can see your eyes hoping I will say it is ok for us to spend longer together, walking, giggling, almost like little children. How I love that look in your eyes. I stare deeply into you, feel your soul opening completely to me, inviting me to look deeper, smile deeper, laugh deeper. You are so beautiful. My love. My sweetness. My precious delicate nectar from heaven. You are so beautiful. How can I let you know this?

"Give me a hug" you say. Oh yes, how I love the feeling of wrapping myself around you, gently. By mistake, my throat lets out a low quiet growling moan, which I cannot hide. Another 2 minutes that felt like the time of the entire universe compressed into 1 second. Too short.

How wonderful you make me feel. I live to enjoy your smiling beautiful eyes. When you look at me. Goodbye. I will think of you. I will wait for you.

Until next time, we know when. It is always too long, but so beautiful when we meet, it is worth the wait. Goodbye my beauty, my heart, my only love. Goodnight, I wish you the most wonderful peaceful dreams. Your eyes do not easily leave mine, but we are going.

"My Love," I start to say as the last thing, "don't forget to turn the light out upstairs this time, I will make sure the doors are locked."

Goodnight.